first - my best friend Jackie. she was the last of my best friends from college I expected to get married. not because she isn't a great catch, because she definitely is, josh is one of the luckiest guys on the planet, but it just wasn't a priority for her, which as we all know, is very odd for a girl. especially a mormon one. she is one of the best people I have ever met and will always hold a very special place in my heart. we lived together all four years of college, shared a room for three of them, and have remained extremely close ever since, even though she moved to vegas for pharmacy school and I moved back east to dc for my own adventure. I can't remember a wedding I was happier to be at or more emotional about. she and josh have a great life ahead of them and once I got over my little bit of jealousy I was bursting from the seams with joy for them...second - my little sister. I wish I could say I was happy about this one, but it is about the opposite of how I felt about Jackie. first of all, nobody was invited to the wedding, just my little brother who was asked to be the witness, and it was kept a secret for a couple months. this sister has had a particularly hard life and has made quite a few wrong turns, but I always hoped she would find happiness. I don't see it happening here, but stranger things have happened... I hope I am wrong about this guy that she married, but so far, he has done nothing but bad and wrong... and it is more than likely that he will be serving some time behind bars pretty soon...
third - my mom ... this one was particularly hard because I felt a combination of both. its hard to see your mom get remarried, but its even harder when you don't like the guy she's marrying. I have wanted nothing more my entire life for my mom than for her to be happy. she keeps telling me that she is happy with jeff, so I try to believe her and be happy for her. and part of me is genuinely happy for her. but, part of our relationship died that day. it felt like a real loss.
baby 1 - my best friends, one of the greatest couples I have ever met, had a baby boy a few months ago. he is beautiful! I loved him like he was my blood relative. they are a perfect little family. the perfect example of what I am striving for. but, the baby made me start to hear my biological clock ticking! haha! maybe it is a good thing they moved back east for law school...baby 2 - one of my roommates from college is going to have a baby next month. I threw her a baby shower last week. she is the first of us (college roommates) to have a baby. I'm excited for her, and hope I don't hear the biological clock again...
baby 3 - my sister whose marriage I am more than concerned about recently told me she is 6 weeks pregnant. I'm going to be an aunt! wow... not to put a damper on the mood, but I have honestly wondered if I will end up raising this child. I am definitely up to it, but I think it is sad to bring a baby into the world with these kinds of concerns surrounding its life. my whole family is concerned, and since I have pretty much been the mom - or at least the responsible one - I'm sure it will be my burden. probably the first one I would gladly welcome, but a sad one to admit...
the funeral - okay, so I didn't actually attend this funeral, but one of my best friends had a recent suicide in his family and it threw me for a loop. he was young and left behind a wife and three beautiful kids. it made me realize several things - you never know when someone you love is going to be gone, and sometimes you never know how much someone is suffering inside. its important to care about these things and other people, never let yourself become too selfish. a single life is more important than anyone can imagine... and I want to make mine count...
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