what about me?

remember when you were growing up and everyone was always talking about how you didn't know who you were yet and you had a lot to learn and figure out about yourself? I always thought they were full of crap! I never understood how someone could not know themself. I mean, we are the only ones in our own heads 24/7, right? well, yeah, but I now know what they were talking about. at 26 I feel like I have a good handle on who I am, what I want, what I am going to do, how I react to things, etc. but, I still surprise myself sometimes. I still get those light bulb "aha" moments when I learn new something new about myself. ...this weekend I disappeared to St. George. I spend a lot of time with my family, it always feels good to be around the people that love you the most no matter what. I did my little sister's hair for prom, as well as two of her friends. I got the windows in my car tinted. went to a movie... I also spent a lot of time alone reflecting and trying to figure out how to handle a situation that developed the night before I took off. I know that one of the things about me is that I am a self-sacrificer and those close to me always come before myself. I also know that in the battlefield of love I am usually quick to surrender without too much of a fight. that is probably my problem. so, not anymore! I am going to come first this time. I am goign to fight for what I want, what I deserve. and I am not going to give up until the fat lady sings... :) anyway, in the meantime, I have been answering those questionaires that get sent around through email and myspace, just to prove that I know myself and that I am a pretty awesome person! so, here are some of those questions just for you:

What is your favorite thing to wear? - My PJs
Last thing you ate? - a bottle of water... and a couple bites of a banana
I say Shotgun, you say? - Bang! Whats up with that thang? I wanna know... (you better know that song!)
Last person you hugged? - Rob, last night
How many U.S states have you been to? - Around 28 or so.
How many of the U.S states have you lived in? - 4: Utah, Virginia, Iowa, and Ohio
Does anyone you know want to date you? - yeah... too bad I'm not into him. that would be convenient
Who/What made you angry today? - when I thought about what happened three days ago (we won't go into details)
Favorite type of Food? - Thai and Japanese, sushi
Favorite holidays - I'm not really into holidays anymore. unless I get paid days off from work for them.
Do you download music? - yes, I'm kind of obsessed with iTunes
Do you care if your socks are dirty? - yes! as everyone should. sick...
Do you love anyone? - yes. a little too much as it turns out...
Do you like George Bush? - no. hell no.
Have you ever bungee jumped? - Nope and I never will.
Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? - yes, a few times. it can be flattering, bt it can also be creepy and scary.
How much money do you have in your pocket? - I don't have pockets right now, but I never keep money in my pockets anyway, that is what a wallet is for.
What are you listening to right now? - my iTunes is on shuffle. right now its the Dixie Chicks... oh, wait, now its Jimmy Buffet
What is your current fav song? - Easy Silence by The Dixie Chicks and Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap
What was the last movie you watched? - I watched two last night to keep my mind occupied. Reign Over Me and Blood Diamond. both good.
Do you wear contacts? - Yes and will for a couple more years until I can pay for lasik
What are you afraid of? - getting hurt, being alone for the rest of my life. heights.
How many piercings have you had? - 7. all in my years. I'm down to two now...
How many pets do you have? - None. not a fan of animals. ...don't judge me!
What's one thing you've learned? - I'm learning a huge lesson right now, I Just haven't quite figured out what it is going to be yet. but I could write a book about everything I have learned.
What do you usually order from Starbucks? - chai latte. sometimes with sugarfree almond flavoring. YUMMY
Have you ever fired a gun? -yes. I'm a hick. haha
Are you missing someone? - yes. a few people actually. but one person in particular. very very much
Fav. TV show? - Gray's Anatomy, Brothers and Sisters, What About Brian, Desperate Housewives, Scrubs, The Office... I watch way too much TV
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? - growing up I was constantly told I looked like Sandra Bullock, its even in my year book a few times. I don't think so anymore though
Favorite movie of all time?: - wow, I don't have one of all time. but, I do watch Sweet Home Alabama, The Wedding Planner and Spanglish way too much. oh, and I LOVE The Count of Monte Cristo
Do you find yourself loved? - not really. mostly just by my family. that is what is killing me right now. pretty sad, right?
Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? - all. I love popcorn in almost any way
What Magazines are you reading? - Martha Stewart Living and Martha Stewart Weddings. shouldn't it ask about books? come on! I am reading The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama
Have you ever ridden in a limo?: - no, I actually haven't... never thought about that.
What's something that really bugs you? - when I am lied to. and when I don't know the answer to something and can't find it. fake people, selfish people. when someone acts like they know something that they really know nothing about.
Do you like Michael Jackson? - love his music. used to love him when I was growing up. sometimes I just think he is a sad misunderstood guy.
What's your favorite smell? - rain in the desert. freshly baked bread. Rob...
Favorite baseball team? - DC Nationals! heck yes! although I can't say I actually follow it
Favorite cereal? - Cracklin Oat Bran
What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? - 36 hours. Election Day 2004 for work. yeah, it was the craziest work day ever!
Last time you went bowling? - about a year ago for a company party
Where is the weirdest place you have slept? - the hall floor of my high school I think...
Who was your last phone call? - the secretary at my dentist's office to confirm my appointment... sad! but the peson before that was my mom.
Last time you were at work? - right now! haha! I'm a slacker
I WANT: Companionship, love and less drama
I ALWAYS: expect too much
I AM NOT: perfect...
I DANCE: salsa on cruise ships! but usually when nobody can see me.
I SING: In the shower, in the car, or whenever the music is loud.
I CRY: way too much! it always makes me feel better though
I AM NOT ALWAYS: polite
I WIN: when I play Dr. Mario or Tetris against anyone else!
I SHOULD: seriously stick to a diet!
First Best Friend: Pamela Johnson
First Crush: Patrick
First Real Girlfriend/Boyfriend: Patrick... or Adam Robison, I can't remember...
First Date: I really can't remember. I started way too young... I think it was when I went to Huntington with Adam to meet his family when I was 15.
First Kiss: Patrick
First Album/CD: Wilson Phillips and The Lost Boys soundtrack! yeah baby!
First Piercing/Tattoo: My mom pierced my ears when I was like 2. and I will never have a tattoo!
First True Love: Dustin Anderson
First Enemy: April Blackburn! she was a real bitch! nobody since then though. just her.
First Time Dying My Hair: Black in 7th grade...
First Formal Dance: My Junior Prom, with Billy Jeffrey who died in an accident 3 years later...
First Time Breaking A Bone: I've never broken a bone! knock on wood!
First Time Getting Really Sick: I don't remember... I never got that sick growing up and its a good thing because we didn't have health insurance.
Last Cuss Word Uttered: Shit, its one of my favorite words
Last Compliment: last night he told me I was beautiful and that he missed me.
Last/Current boy/girlfriend: Its all about Rob right now
Last Kiss: Rob, last night. he is seriously the best kisser I have ever kissed. and I didn't think anyone would ever outdo Dustin!
Last Good Cry: last night when I drove away from Rob... why do relationships have to be so difficult?
Last Person That You Saw Naked Besides You: umm, I generally try to stay away from naked people...
Want to get married: definitely
Think you're a health freak: a lot more than I used to be, but no, not really
Get along with your parents: it has totally flipped. I didn't get along with my dad growing up, now we're really close and I don't get along with my mom as well.

see - I'm amazing! ;)